Can a Projector be an Endurance Athlete?
(Deep in the pain cave - Competing in the Canadian Mountain Running Championships in Canmore, AB, 2017)
I started asking this question nearly two years ago and today, I finally have the semblance of an answer. Of course, this answer is not THE ULTIMATE truth, and should not be taken as such. Rather, this blog post is the culmination of two years of questioning, exploration, research, trial-and-error, and open-hearted willingness to let go of everything I thought I knew and welcome in what actually is.
The short answer to the above question is: Yes. Projectors can be endurance athletes. I was one for a long time.
Any Energy Type can be anything they want to be. Any person can be anything they want to be. That is the beauty of free will - we always have the choice. We are the captains of our own ships.
The longer answer is more of a Yes BUT…..
But is it healthy?
But is it in alignment with a Projector’s highest good/mission in life?
But for someone with an undefined Sacral (this includes Manifestors and Reflectors as well as Projectors), is it really ok to engage in competitions where the whole point is to go for a long time and at a high intensity?
I’ve certainly seen several Projectors excel at sports such as ultrarunning, but often at a high price (e.g. burnout, adrenal fatigue, injuries, etc.). One of the shadow sides of an undefined Sacral is not knowing when to stop. That means Projectors (and Manifestors, Reflectors) could be excellent ultra-athletes, able to go extremely long distances without the built-in “stop” mechanism of Generators and Manifesting Generators. BUT…. At what cost to the Projector’s overall health and well-being?
Projectors can definitely excel at endurance sport… but at what cost? (Competing in the team’s race at the Ski Mountaineering World Championships in Villars-sur-Ollon, Switzerland, 2019)
But I digress. This blog post is not about providing definitive answers to any of the above questions - it’s about sharing my experience in grappling with the questions and the conclusions that I have reached for myself, at this current time, based on my own experiences as a Projector who was, for many years, a competitive endurance athlete.
So without further ado, here’s what I’ve learned:
When I first discovered Human Design two years ago, I was a competitive endurance athlete. I competed in ski mountaineering (“skimo”) races during the winter months, and a variety of trail/mountain/ultra running races during the summer months. After hearing all of the Human Design types listed and described for the first time (while I was in the car driving + listening to a podcast), I initially assumed I was a Manifesting Generator. But when I got home and was able to look up my chart I discovered that I was, of course, a Projector. Even though at the time I had very little idea of what that actually meant, just the act of looking at my chart and bringing awareness to the idea that I’m “not here to get caught up in the ‘doing’ of the world” absolutely shattered me. It was as though I unlocked some kind of activation sequence inside of me in that moment. It was the permission I needed to feel into my body for the first time in many years. And what I felt was total exhaustion.
That’s really where my journey to answer this question started. Ok, so I’m a Projector… not here to ‘do’ as much as I’m here to ‘guide’… ok… well what the hell does that mean for me? Can I still train and compete in races?
My body and my mind started to compete with each other to answer these questions. My “not-self” mind (the voices and energies of the open/undefined centres in my chart) said that I needed to keep going, that I needed to prove myself, that I needed to be certain about this, that I was nothing and had no worth if I did not train/race anymore. My body simply let me know that it was really frikkin tired.
Ultimately, I realized that the only choice was to listen to my body and to give it what it really needed. I stopped training, stopped racing, and gave up my place on the Canadian National skimo team. And thus began my experiment to see what actually felt good for me in my body as a Projector, outside of the confines of a training plan.
Here’s what I’ve learned from this experiment so far:
1) The “not-self” mind is very strong for me when it comes to sport. My undefined Heart and undefined Sacral loved to team up and tell me how worthless I am for not doing enough. Yikes! Once I was able to identify this and get better at spotting when this harmful influence was creeping in, I was better able to distinguish the true needs of my body underneath these false needs of the ego. Breaking these patterns is an ongoing journey of self-awareness, as the patterns were set in childhood and are deeply engrained. However, I am happy to report that after two years of experimenting with this, the negative voices and energies of these open centres are much less bothersome. And, when they do show up, I sure as hell am not letting them run the show anymore!
2) My energy levels are SUPER inconsistent. This has been really interesting to observe. I should take a minute here to mention that I am what is called an Energy Projector, which means that I have at least one of the four “motor” centres defined (I actually have two defined). The motor centres are the Sacral, Root, Heart, and Solar Plexus. My Root and Solar Plexus are defined through the 19-49 channel. Without getting into too much complexity here, I’ll just say that the motor energy that exists in my chart is like a pulse or a wave. Sometimes my energy is on, and sometimes it’s off. With a defined Root however, I find that I do like to have some kind of movement every day. Whether that is a 20km run or 20 minutes of stretching depends on where my energy levels are at on a given day. Given that it’s nearly impossible to predict this, I’ve learned to go with the flow of how I’m feeling. Sometimes I’ll have a whole week where I don’t want to do too much. Sometimes, there will be a period of three days where I feel I could go all day long and never get tired. It’s been really interesting to observe this and try my best to truly honour these fluctuations while minimizing the drama created in the not-self mind!
3) Training like a Generator never actually worked for me, both in terms of health and performance. Reflecting back on my many years as an athlete, I realized that training “like a Generator” has never actually worked for me. Generators and Manifesting Generators (who make up 70% of the population) are characterized by their defined Sacral centre, which is the motor centre that has consistent energy. So for 70% of the population, consistent training works for them (as long as the training activities light them up + get them excited… otherwise they could face burnout and depletion). Think about a scientific study conducted to study training methods, done on a random population sample. Around 70% of that sample is likely to have a defined Sacral centre, so most books and training plans based on science are not tailored to the unique needs of Projectors, Manifestors, and Reflectors. Over the years, I went through various periods of training “by the books” or with coaches, and other periods of training based mostly on how I felt/what I felt like doing. Whenever I tried to train “properly”, based on proven scientific methods and carefully tailored training plans, I always (literally, ALWAYS) either got sick or injured or both. When I trained based on my own feelings, things generally went a lot better. I was able to stay healthy more often and performed better in races.
4) Less is more. In line with the above point, for me less is (almost) always more, both in terms of health and performance. Again, training “properly” (according to science and experts) for ski mountaineering and mountain running competitions saw me putting in training hours between 10-20 hours per week, around 600 hours for the year (which averages out to 12 hours per week). Anyone who knows Human Design is definitely rolling their eyes right now imagining a PROJECTOR spending 20 hours per week running up and down mountains. Like, we KNOW this is not good!! However, what is healthy?! Although I definitely don’t have an answer that works out to an exact number of hours per week (see my inconsistent energy levels point above), I do know that 20 hours is WAAAYYY too much and will rarely, if ever, feel good in my body. Maybe one week per year (MAYBE) but definitely not on a consistent basis. Looking back to when I performed my best in running races, I would say that I was training an average of 7-8 hours per week (and that would include 1.5 hours of strength training per week, so probably about 5-6 hours of actual running or other form of cardio cross-training).
Now that I have shifted my focus from training and competition to exercise for enjoyment, flow, health, clarity, etc., I would say that the “less is more” principle definitely still applies! I have not tracked my “training hours” at all in the last two years (because they are not training hours… how do you quantify a hike with mom? A yoga class? A 15 minute pilates break between work activities? I have no interest or need to quantify these things - they are just a part of feeling good), but I would say that on average I spend about 8-10 hours per week moving my body in some way (in much less intense ways than I have previously) and, in general, that feels pretty good to me right now. (But I need to follow that statement up with an ALL CAPS STATEMENT to say: PLEASE DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ME OR TRY TO HIT THIS NUMBER OF HOURS PER WEEK FOR YOURSELF IF IT DOESN’T FEEL GOOD. PLEASE DON’T TAKE THIS TO BE THE GOLD STANDARD FOR PROJECTOR HEALTH/FITNESS/WELL-BEING/WHATEVER. WE ARE ALL SO DIFFERENT - EVEN IF YOU HAVE THE EXACT SAME CHART AS ME, YOU ARE STILL A DIFFERENT PERSON! WE HAVE DIFFERENT SOULS, DIFFERENT MISSIONS, DIFFERENT THINGS WE CAME HERE TO EXPERIENCE. I KNOW THAT ONE OF THE THINGS MY SOUL LOVES AND CAME HERE TO EXPERIENCE IS SPORT AND PHYSICAL ACTIVITY - MAYBE FOR YOU IT’S SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AND 10 HOURS PER WEEK OF MOVEMENT WOULD FEEL BORING AND MISERABLE FOR YOU, EVEN IF YOU ARE A MANIFESTING GENERATOR. Always follow your own Authority and engage in your own experiment to see what’s right for you. I’m sharing these numbers as part of my story and to illustrate my journey, and maybe to empower other endurance athletes - especially those without defined Sacral centres - to re-think their methods, goals, and what may be best for their bodies). Again, those 8-10 hours per week include all movement - walking and gentle yoga as well as skiing, running, and other more vigorous exercise.
5) When I do less, my brain actually works better. This was a very happy side effect of doing much less with much less intensity! My brain started to work better! Suddenly, I had more energy to write and play music and start this business and do my school work. It was as though I was able to reclaim an important part of my soul. When I was training more (and with more intensity), I honestly had almost zero energy for these things. I had less creativity. Far fewer downloads. I lost a big part of myself, and I’m happy to have her back now.
6) I love sports and I love moving my body. For awhile I saw this point 6) and the above point 5) as a paradox. I’ve always loved sports and have natural athletic talent that has been called out, noticed, rewarded, and invited in for the majority of my life (which, as most of you know, feels WONDERFUL for a Projector!). I played high-level soccer as a child + teenager, ran varsity track/xc at university, and of course competed and did well at various mountain endurance sport competitions in my 20s. In elementary and high school, I was athlete of the year. I was the weird kid who actually loved the “beep test” and the “12 minute run” - I loved the feeling of pushing myself, running fast, and working hard, and I was always quite good at it. So…. how on earth does that fit in with being a Projector? Only now am I starting to get some clarity on this. It really comes down to, quite simply, doing what I actually want to do instead of what I think I should do or what my not-self mind or other people tell me I “need” to do. Some days, my body wants to ski for three hours (it did today! I have a transit defining my Sacral centre right now so today I am sampling Manifesting Generator energy and doing lots feels AMAZING!). Other days, my body wants to walk around the block for 20 minutes listening to my favourite songs. Or it wants to play a fun hockey game. Or dance around. Or do a yoga class. Or just lie in bed all day doing absolutely nothing.
In other words, where I’m at today is this: Sport, exercise, and physical activity are in my life for fun, pleasure, health, en-JOY-ment, connection, and fresh air. And it is entirely, completely, beautifully possible to be a Projector who so enjoys moving their body in a variety of different ways. When there is alignment with the body’s true needs, movement, sport, and exercise can be a healthy, easeful experience. Unfortunately, in many sporting programs, this type of attunement is not fostered and the unique needs of us undefined Sacral beings are not known or taken into consideration.
When there is alignment with the body’s true needs, movement, sport, and exercise can be a healthy, easeful experience. (Hiking near Squamish, BC in 2018)
To sum it all up, here is my advice to Projector athletes:
1) You need more rest than the majority of your team mates/training buddies. Most of them are probably Generators and MGs. Again, I’ve seen that for a “lit up” G or MG, big training hours can be a positive, health-promoting thing for them (although they can overdo it and burn out as well - we all have our limits!). Don’t try to keep up with your G and MG buddies - at least not every day. By design, you need more rest than they do (even though your mind may convince you that you don’t!).
2) Things go a lot better when you actually listen to your body. This one is pretty self-explanatory, but it’s so easy not to do when your coach is telling you something and a training plan is telling you something and a scientific study is telling you to do xyz. Your body is smarter than all of those things.
3) Be aware of your “not-self” voice. Get to know your open centres. Get to know the “not-self” voices and energies that come from these centres - it will help you to pinpoint when you’re being thrown off track by your own mind.
4) Tune in to your Inner Authority. Learn about, love, and lean into your Inner Authority. It will help you to get back in touch with your body, over-ride the “not-self” mind, and make decisions that are truly in your own best interests.
5) Only you know what’s right for you. Any coach, trainer, fitness “guru”, YouTube workout channel, etc. that tries to tell you otherwise is wrong. Take any suggested schedule, plan, workout, etc. (even this blog post!) with a grain of salt. When it comes down to it, only you can know what’s right for you.
Here is my Human Design chart for reference to many of the points made above.
I’m what’s called an Energy Projector and I have two defined motors - the Root and the Solar Plexus centres
A final note:
We are all such complex and intricate beings, beyond our Energy Type and even our entire Human Design as a whole. We are souls with a history, we are humans with a history, we are beings who seek to experience and express the infinite aspects of possibility in this universe. Life is a game - a playful exploration. There really is no right or wrong; No good or bad - it is all a part of the experience. For the first 30 years of my life, sport and exercise were a big part of my human experience. I hope the learning and wisdom I’ve shared here gives you something to chew on, provides a nugget of information or an answer that is useful for you, or simply opens your mind to a possibility that you had not previously considered.
I would love to hear from you on this one! Are you a Projector athlete? What has your experience been like with sport? What is your relationship to exercise now? Are your experiences similar to mine or very different? Send me a message or let me know in the comments below! This is such a fascinating, ongoing exploration for me and I would love to hear your perspective :)